I battle a voice in my head. Day in, day out I have to listen to this prick busting my balls. Here read this from Monday, little bastard really had me going. I come home after work, eat, take my supps, write out my workout, kiss my girl and roll out. He starts in on me while I am changing my shoes…


“Why are you wearing your chucks? You some kinda bad ass?

“Fuck off’ I tell him. “I don’t need your shit today”.

“What’s wrong little girl, did I hurt your poor little feelings? Sissy”

“You got anything productive to say, or just running your damn mouth”

“Oh, I did hit a nerve…Boy those are some little numbers you are writing down, is that your girls warm up set or what?”

“Don’t make me kick your ass, I am not in the mood”

“ HA, you are as dumb as you look. Are we going to the gym or what Suzy?”

In the truck I turn up some of the West Coast’s finest and try to drown the asshole out. With Dr. Dre vibrating the mirrors and pissing off the neighbors, I manage to get some piece and quite all the way to the gym. Pull up, pocket my Ipod and pull on my black bennie. And this SOB starts in on me again..

‘Nice music, homie. Learn to love that in the hood?”

“Are you going to talk shit all night? We have work to do”

“What work? Your are going to ride the bike, then stretch out your chicken legs and then pretend to be a big, bad, power lifter. That aint work, cleaning the toilet is work”

“Man what a prick, lets get this warm up over with so we can squat, please shut the hell up”

“In a perfect world fat boy, your wish would be granted, now pedal”

That asshole busts my balls the whole time I am warming up, like a little bratty kid. “Are we done yet?”, “Hurry your fat ass up”, “What the hell is taking so long?” I finally get all stretched out and start to load the bar and he starts in again.

“I see you have the bar loaded for your lady, where is she?”

I pound out a set and load on some more weight, another set, then some rest…

“Taking a short rest? You have not even done anything yet. Are you going to keep playing with this bullshit weight or are you going to step up and be a man? Well?”

“Well what? You know the story, keep your damn pants on”

“Well get your ass off this bench and move that fucking weight already, come on 1st set, lets go”

He keeps it up, needling me, trying to get to piss me off, trying to take me off my game, but all he is doing is pissing me off. I walk up to the bar, grab it with both hands and give it a bit of a twist. Take some deep breaths and shut my eyes and picture the lift. I open my eyes and take some deep breaths and shoulder the bar. Walk the bar back and DOWN!!!

“Nice set Suzy, you only did 5, what the hell was that about?”

“Fuck you” I think and load some more weight. “Don’t see you doing anything”

Second set, than the third, and the forth, all follow the same pattern, me busting my ass and him busting my balls. The fifth set is an attempt at a PR for 5 reps and he starts laying it on even thicker.

“When are you going to stop fucking around and lift some damn weight? Fuck man why are you wasting all this time and money. Checkers is cheap and you are just about on that level. Hey, unload this bar and let a REAL lifter use the rack.”

I just keep loading the bar, every word and I add more weight.

“Oh, grew some balls I see. What are you going to do whit that, stare at it. Come on now quick playing around, you are going………”

I never heard what elas he had to say, I shouldered the bar and pressed out three grueling reps, screaming all the way up. By the forth rep, this muther starts changing his tune.

“Damn bro, that shit was easy, lets go two more reps. LIGHT WEIGHT FUCKER!”

Forth rep almost got me at the bottom, left me wondering if I had the last one in me, not the best time to question yourself…’Fuck that” I say out loud and make my decent. Slowly, down wait for the feeling, that gut instinct that tells you that you are low enough, then change gears and fire up, well maybe not fire.

“UP, STAND UP, DO NOT DROP THIS BAR!!!” He shouts, so load that my head hurts ‘UP, COME ON SUZY, FINISH THIS SHIT!!”

I let out a mighty roar and lock out the lift, then the lights start to go out…I some how rack the bar and drop to my knees….

“Hey Bro”

What the hell does he want now?

“ Hey Asshole”

“What the fuck do you WANT?”

“Nice set Bro, well done”

“Well thanks”

“Better do better next week, that shit was way too easy”

-BIG B