I am always contemplating why I do the things I do to myself day in and day out. Yeah there are a lot of things that come from why I lift weights, diet, etc...Like for example the muscles, the ability to see my muslces, abs, veins...basically to look better than the rest (almost) of society. I like the way I feel inside knowing I am clean and healthy. As we all do, from time to time...we like to be acknowledged for our work with a compliment or some girl who is hanging on your massive arms. BUT.......thats not why I do it. It took me a long time to realize it, but I finally did. No, it's not for my grandfather or my best friend, both of whom have left me to be called home, because there are many other things I could do for them and have, and will...they r just here as my guardian angels to help me out when the weight should be crushing my bones. I dont do it to make others happy, nor care what they think anymore. Through all the ups and downs and ins and outs of my life and this sport....I do what I do, in short....because....I am completely insane.

You have to be out of your mind to be a bodybuilder, powerlifter, powerbuilder...etc. For example, we eat probably the worst tasting foods that over time get to be a job to fork down. They dont take long to fix, but the taste of plain oatmeal....I need not say more. Due to the constraints of a diet we are all usually worn out, tired, sore, etc. form the lack of nutrients we REALLY need to fuel our bodies after we work out on a daily basis. Another reason for my insanity is that probably 90% of my money goes into the sport. Whether it be supplements, protein, creatine, new shoe laces cuz they keep busting on me, gym fees, whatever...all the cash is basically put into my body. If it helped me gain muscle, I might as well just eat the money when I cash my checks. Lets not mention the cost of food for my diets...and I dont eat half of what I will be eating when I get older because I am going to pack on the mass! So that is something to look forward to. Next, the sessions of absolute torture that take place every day in the gym are next to unbearable. It feels like every fiber of my being is being torn out and stretched beyond compare. My bones hurt, my muscles ache, my joints are tight, my mind is wandering and sometimes weakened.....I smell like shit...what else could possible go wrong? Well, lets say I get hurt, or I dont get the weight up and my workout goes to shit. That alone gets me so pissed off and upset so my day is ruined. Now, after all of the dieting, lifting, and cardio have taken its toll...lets say you compete. Now what? You go on stage in tiny little posing trunks ensemble and flex for about a minute or 2 for people who you will probably never meet again or who you even know? MAYBE, if you are in top form, would you WIN a trophy. A hunk of metal that doesnt cost 1/10 of what you paid to get into that show, let alone on stage. Basically, the bodybuilding lifestyle I LOVE to live...breaks me down in all aspects mentally, physically, and spiritualy. and again........I LOVE IT.

My insanity divides me from everyone else in my gym. When I am on stage I dont want the trophy...that shit dont matter. My medal comes from beating some other dudes scrawny ass with my Hercules-like physique. When the bar on my back is grinding on my spine because I choose to lift heavy ass weight...I squat nice and deep....a few times...and watch with pride as the same guy, on a different day, does the same chest and arm workout. I grunt, spit, snot, bleed, and cry almost daily when I put on my wraps and go to work. Nobody else can say that where I am from. Does that make me crazy...hell yeah it does. Fucking delirious. I do what it takes to be the best while the rest of the people who call themselves bodybuilders half ass it....it is a disgrace to me and my brothers in here. I keep going though, silently slipping deeper into madness. We as true bodybuilders toil in anonymity doing what we were born to do under the toil of our own merciless eyes. I am heading for greatness. But my question is..Will you lead and walk with me, or fall off the mountain? After all is said and done brothers...keep it up. Do what you do and divide yourselves from everyone else. Become great...and go crazy while you do it!

IN IRON,
BAMBAM